Issue #11 - Wrapping up the school year and setting boundaries this Summer
Protect your time, guide your kids through the end of the school year, what's happening in the community, our top Amazon picks, and more!
Hi there,
Let's kick off this month's issue by saying CONGRATS to all the GRADUATES (special shout-out to all the moms and dads who have completed their education)! From conquering Kindergarten and moving up through the grades to graduating Middle School, High School, and College, every step is worth celebrating! 🎉🎓
That said, I can't help but express a newfound appreciation for parents with school-aged kids. TBH, I would have never believed you if you told me that the end of the school year would be more hectic than the start. Yet here I am, with less than three weeks left until the last day of school (cue the celebrations for my 5.5yo who conquered Kindergarten!), feeling the rush of the end of the school year and in absolute awe of all the teachers helping us raise the future every day — we see how hard you work, and we appreciate you!
Here’s to a great Summer!
xx
Ingrid
P.S. Don't forget to check in on your mom friends. Just forward this email or share this link.
🛍 This month’s Amazon picks
These self-laminating labels are just what you need to label your kid’s stuff this Summer and keep it from getting lost!
This Lululemon crossbody bag dupe comes in nine colors and is the only bag you’ll need this season!
Keep your baby cool this Summer with this rechargeable fan.
Protect your face from the sun and keep it looking dewy with Supergoop!’s Glow Screen.
Still working on the checklist for camp? Our Summer Camp Essentials list has just what you need!
✦ What’s happening in the community ✦
AMA (Ask Me Anything) threads with Oath Care’s specialists (Birth Doulas, Sleep Consultants, Early Childhood Development Specialist, and more!)
Lots of posts about nap routines, potty training, infant feeding, pumping on the go, and more!
ICYMI on social
➡ Did you know that the end of the school year can be just as stressful as the start? Dr. Jazmine (@themompsychologist) talks about this in her latest post and shares advice on what you can do to help kids process this big change.
➡ If you’re looking for a new job and wondering how to answer the dreaded “Why are you looking for a new job?” question, look no further because Career Contessa has tips and examples.
➡ Is your kid ready for Kindergarten, or should you delay school entry? Dr. Cara Goodwin from
covers this topic in two of her latest posts (all researched-backed).➡ NYC darkened on Wednesday afternoon as winds carried a plume of smoke from the Canadian wildfires, making New York City’s air quality index the worst around the world. (Dr. Anjuli Gans, MD, shares her tips!)
Here’s what is happening in our lives at the moment
School is out, AKA the busy season for parents! 😮💨 So I reached out to my friend and fellow mom, Lauren A. Tetenbaum, a licensed social worker and counselor, to discuss mastering the art of time management and getting her advice on prioritizing and protecting our time.
WM: This time of year is fun but incredibly demanding for parents. How do you apply your expertise to your life to prioritize and protect your time?
LT: It can feel overwhelming to try to be ambitious professionally, present as a parent, social with friends, engaged in your relationship, and dedicated to self-care – during this season and always! So I’m constantly reframing how much I’ve accomplished each day, even if (often especially if) I feel I haven’t gotten to everything on my to-do list or missed something. Whenever I’m faced with a choice during this hectic time of year, I check in with myself. What is important to me here and why? I think about my values, remind myself that everything is temporary, and lean into what feels good to me without putting extra pressure on myself to “do it all” each day.
WM: Balancing work and personal life can be challenging. How do you navigate saying no to activities or commitments that don’t align with your schedule or priorities?
LT: My high-achieving clients relate to feeling pulled in many different directions. I like to engage in self-compassion to navigate this feeling. I recently had to ask myself: What would I tell a friend or a client who was feeling guilty about not being able to make the third recital in the middle of the workday that month? I would tell her: You’re doing the best you can and doing a great job. Some moms I work with compare themselves to others who appear to have it all figured out. No one does, I promise! So let’s be kind to ourselves.
WM: As someone who understands the importance of setting boundaries, how do you handle situations where saying no might disappoint others?
LT: I believe you can assert yourself kindly and thoughtfully. Sometimes that does result in disappointment for someone, and that’s okay. For example, I had to cancel dinner plans with a friend recently because my kids hadn’t had much evening time with me that week, and we all felt exhausted and disconnected. I wanted to see that friend but chose to recharge with my family instead, and I was able to make new plans with my friend. I always tell my clients to start by saying no when the stakes are low to see what happens. Setting boundaries takes practice, but it’s worth it and often necessary to alleviate anxiety and feelings of burnout. If you feel that saying yes compromises your values, it’s time to try no. Don’t sacrifice your well-being to make others happy; your needs matter!
WM: How do you strike a balance when it comes to your children's summer activities and your own needs for personal time or self-care routines?
LT: I try (and encourage my clients to do the same) to carve out a bit of time for myself – whether that’s to go to an exercise class with friends, get some stuff done at home uninterrupted (not easy!), or go on a date with my husband. That certainly takes forethought and support, so I don’t want to make it seem simple. But if you prioritize figuring out at least an hour for yourself every weekend (as a start) and remind yourself that self-care isn’t selfish, it can and will feel great! And then you’ll have the ability to feel more present when you are doing family together, instead of thinking about what else you have to do that you haven’t gotten to yet.
WM: Any tips on involving your partner, if you have one, in all of this?
LT: I believe your partner should be just that – a partner. I’ve been unpleasantly surprised to notice that it’s still typically moms (including those in the paid workforce) attending the end-of-school-year volunteer activities. That trend not only perpetuates outdated gender stereotypes but also unfairly burdens women with more unpaid work. As a culture, we’ve got to eliminate these gendered expectations. Presumably, dads would enjoy doing a classroom craft with their kiddos as much as moms would! Schools must encourage caregivers to participate. And when it comes to your own family, talk about what’s coming up with your partner or other household members to determine who can take on certain tasks/activities based on logistics or preferences (or if it’s something that can be skipped altogether, which is an acceptable choice, too!). As we say in the Fair Play method (a system by activist Eve Rodsky that I use in my counseling practice): re-deal the deck as needed – meaning, check in with your partner regularly to manage expectations and ensure the way the caregiving and household activities are getting divvied feels equitable.
You can connect with Lauren A. Tetenbaum, LMSW, JD, PMH-C, on Instagram at @thecounselaur or via email at lauren@latcounseling.com.
Trending articles
🔥🔥🔥 2023’s Best & Worst States for Working Moms by John S Kiernan | WalletHub
🔥🔥🔥 Understanding the motherhood penalty and what it means for women’s finances by Ivana Pino
Opinion: The struggle to find and afford child care is holding mothers back in their careers by Shaina Gross, Kim McDougal | The San Diego Union-Tribune
Managers Have Major Impact On Mental Health: How To Lead For Wellbeing by Tracy Brower, PhD | Forbes
NEW! Introducing "mom to mom,” an interview series featuring moms from our community, who will be sharing their best tips and advice for navigating motherhood.
Meet Bethany, mom of 3 (+1 dog), wife to a husband that travels, friend to many, and full-time employee at a corporate job of 11 years. Tired by day, wide awake at night, and surviving thanks to an amazing village.
WM: What message or advice would you like to share with moms experiencing a challenging phase?
BV: We all know it’ll eventually pass, but that doesn’t make it easier. Drop your ego and admit that you’re in a challenging phase. This allows you to feel all the emotions: cry, laugh, scream, dance, sing, etc. Admission gives you a sense of freedom and peace - whether that is short-lived or not.
WM: Do you believe in work/life balance?
BV: Yes, but this will look different for each of us, as every job is different. You get to define what is a good balance for you and your family. Be honest with yourself and decide what you can carry on your plate. If your plate is too heavy, determine what needs to be taken off to allow for a more balanced life. We can’t do it all as much as we try!
WM: What tips or advice would you give moms trying to build a business or advance their career while raising young children?
BV: Make sure your career path moves in a direction that allows flexibility. You get to define what flexibility looks like for you and your family. It’ll look different for each of us, but this will allow you the space you need to work and be a mother.
WM: Any last words of advice?
BV: Rain or shine - or snow from where I come from! Put your phone away and get outside. Take a mental health walk for 20-30 minutes a day. Breathe in and out while admiring the world around you. This time away from everything will help you reset, reenergize, and return to your day.
✦ Community Highlights ✦
Amanda Goetz, mom of 3, founder and CEO, brand builder, and creator, just launched a newsletter for builders, creators, founders, and leaders. Subscribe here!
Olivia Dreizen Howell, co-founder of Fresh Starts Registry, just published a book with her sister called Simple Scripts to Support Your People: What to Say When You Don't Know What to Say. Check it out and buy a copy here!
Jessica Russell, mom of two, just graduated from California State University with a BA in Human Development. Congrats, Jess!
Margi Scott, mom of 4, published a book called IS THIS ADULTING?: Growing up Millennial and Uncovering our Authenticity. Get a copy here!
Leaving you on a good note…
Minnesota passed statewide paid family leave last month, becoming the 12th state (first in the midwest) to have passed and implemented a paid family and medical leave program. 👏👏
Partner of the month: Believe Diapers
Believe Diapers is the only eco-friendly, premium bamboo diapers with true 1-for-1 donation matching helping families in need. Use code WMK30 to get 30% off your first purchase!
This issue was brought to by Ingrid Zapata Read, founder of Working Momkind. Got a question or suggestion? Leave a comment or get in touch.
Thank you for reading this month's issue of The Momsletter! I am so grateful to have such a great community of readers and contributors all over the world. ❤️🤗 If you're interested in being featured in an upcoming issue or sponsoring The Momsletter please reach out via email hello@workingmomkind.com.
Great newsletter. So full of helpful info. Thanks for highlighting Cara Godwin’s awesome newsletter. Hers is one of my favorites.